not sure

not sure about alot anymore... the more i sit and think the worse it gets... i honestly dont think the soldier (hubs) wants to be with me anymore, everyone else has gotten a call and he hasnt... u would think he would borrow someones phone and try to call or something...

it seems like everyone around me is pulling away or questioning anything i do... like yesterday i went to housing to ask about carpet cleaners (like if there is a specific comany i am suppose to use) and stopped at the park so my monkey could run around and have fun, on the way back a neighbor saw me stopped his car and asked where i was coming from... seriously do i have to check in with everyone!? i just dont feel like i can trust anyone...

i guess the not calling really lets me know where i stand... i have completely shut down which is bad cause i need to talk care of my daughter... nothing seems to be helping and tomorrow is an frg thingy and not even sure if i want to go...

sunday i might be going to lunch with someone i thought was a friend (the one who pushed away) to confront her about everyhting... but for some reason i dont think she will come she will come up with some excuse of why she cant go... i just dont understand people anymore, guess all army wives are like this they only are friends with u when they need u but back away when they dont need u anymore...

i just give up i guess... really wish my heart wasnt breaking and i didnt want to just cry