codependent

so i had another councelling session... basically been going once a week 3 sessions so far only 12 that i can go to...

so the first session was just me crying telling him my past and whats been going on...

the second, i brought my monkey (no sitter cause not trusting the one person who i thought was my friend-posted before), so we talked about how things were, mostly the whole drama with my neighbor and how the hubby and i talked about not allowing for change...

so my third session (the other day) was about being codependent, being raised in an alcoholic family, and being used by people who i thought i could trust...

so it kinda bugged me, seriously this counceller is getting on my last nerve... i am not codependent i am very independent, just at times like everyone i need someone to make me feel... feel in general about anything, everything just feel wanted... which lately i dont feel like i have anyone... or i am just pulling away which really sucks for my daughter but she still is happy we went to the park- a mommy and daughter date and she loved it!! now i just have to teach her that just cause there is two slides doesnt mean one is up and the other down... gotta love toddlers :)

ok so back to the codependent things, to me you have to have someone always around, telling you what to do and just always depending on them for everything! and i dont have or need that... yes sometimes when i do something i may ask for understanding not agreeing which to me is completely different but of course the stupid counceller felt its the same... which to me was very annoying... if i talk to a friend i dont expect them to always agree but understand which i guess i was wrong... i dont know anymore it would be nice to talk to someone who knows me but i havent told anyone whats going on so its hard...

the therapist wants me to express my feeling which i gues i never do... but to me how can u when everytime u turn around and try someone tells u u r wrong and cant feel that way?! so i just dont anymore or atleast express it which is why i am so stressed and angry lately but not like anone really cares or tries to even be there... ugh well i just dont know what else to say.... so i guess i will end this

but i will stand by i am not codependent and sometimes i just need soemone to understand and i dont think that makes me codependent :P