realizations

i have come to realize we all make choices and sometimes those we pick are the best while others teach us a lesson...

since moving to hawaii i have met many different army wives... and when i say different i dont mean just where they are from,but their priorities (children, work, hubby, themselves), ages, personalities... everything

most have been girls i honestly would never have talked to or even hung out with if it wasnt for my husbands job... not just cause of their age but their choices, sorry but i have a daughter now so drinking to the point of blacking out and doing drugs (which i never have done or plan to) are not my ideas of a good time... honestly a drink here and there not an issue and you know every once in awhile getting a little too drunk is ok but every weekend? or even a night just cause you have someone else who can parent your kids the next day!? and drugs yes i have been around people and friends who have smoked weed or/and pill popped and never judged but they also never did it around me! they also knew i wasnt cool with it even more so now that i am married to the military... but most of my friends have grown up and stopped smoking weed and are grown ups!!

my opinion (claimer this is how i feel not how it should be!) if you are married to the military you should NOT be doing drugs even smoking weed! honestly if you have it in your house they do a search and find it its your soldier who gets in trouble and could lose everything! i just think it is completely disrepectful even more when other soldiers who are suppose to be in charge say who cares its not the soldier doing it! but honestly karma will get these wives who only care about themselves...

ok so back on to my realizations- the women i have met... the ones that were wives of spouses in my husband company have been ok, i mean most of them... there has been the one who while her spouse was deployed would drink and do drugs and have sex with just about whoever!! seriously she seemed really nice and i didnt mind babysitting every once in awhile so she could go out and drink but the more i got to know her the more i was glad my phone fell in the toilet and i lost her number (it saved me from alot of drama that i honestly didnt need being pregnant and all)...
the next person i met was my boss and honestly she still is who i met! very nice army wife true to herself and extremely nice!! honestly couldnt think of anything bad to say about her (well her hubby dips and personally i couldnt kiss someone who does that-just seems like no matter how much you spit its still there! ewww)...
she introduced me to another wife who had 5 kids... thought she was a good person but come to see that she loves to only see the bad in people and share that with everyone to make herself look better! honestly she only talks about everyone elses parenting, finances, relationships, anythign they do wrong! she put judgements of people in my head before i met them (something i try never to do-prejudge) well you think i would have realized she talks about all these people in a bad way why wouldnt she about me? oh thats right cause i thought she was a friend! boy was i wrong!!
the other girls i have met have been thru this last girl... they all smoke weed, barely take care of the kids, are consently screaming at their kids or spouses, and just all around rude girls! i would never attack someone who i dont know just cause they dont want to be my friend the minute they move into the neighborhood! (seriously they are so childish)...
the wives in the company are nice or atleast act like it... there have been some who have done the whole well so and so said this and that... and my husband is this rank shit... so annoying! i really hope the ones who act sincere!

i guess its this whole island thing... you are trapped here unless you have bank or your family/friends do you most likely wont really leave... you either hang out with only wives in your spouses company or like the crackheads in my neighborhood only hang out with poeple in the neighborhood... sadly if you try to mix these two or just try to be nice to everyone and give people a chance you will walked all over and treated like shit from one of "groups"... which i have tried... i am nice to everyone unless they give me a reason not too or atleast i try... i try to not judge anyone based on what others say cause i have been that girl and it sucks being prejudged... i am always nice to any new army wife and give them a chance to get to know people and make their own decisions cause honestly the one person you may not have liked they might, right?

i know sometimes i say things or do things and people are like what the hell?! but if you look at where i grew up it would make complete sense! i grew up in a semi small town where it was predominately white i didnt pick it nor did i say who could live their and who couldnt! i was a kid!! i realize espically with some of the jobs i have had in my life some people have no choice where they work or what they do they just got to to what they can to survive, so honestly if you take your clothes off to pay the bills i dont care you are atleast paying your bills and trying your best!

being trapped (seriously trapped) on this island and seeing people come and go and this neighborhood being all nice to their faces they as soon as they leave talking shit about them! i am happy to be gone... none of these people would ever or were ever good people or friends, just passing thru my life to make me see the good and bad in army wives! they have no idea their actions are destroying their spouses career nor do they care! i honestly try my best and be as supportive as possible and make sure my decisions wont hurt his choices!

but atleast i only have a little be longer (or so i hope)! find out next week when and if the army will pay for the monkey, our stuff, my car, and myself to go home! fingers crossed cause all the estimates i have gotten have made me want to cry alot!! very stressed with just waiting and my throat is killing me, acne on my face, my back is all tight and sore, and just having a hard time sleeping...i know part of it is the moving home and another deployment and just trying to get the bills paid off!! all i know is i will have family and friends and help and people i trust surrounding me no more fakeness!!

honsetly i have heard hawaii/schofield barracks is so small and people are so bored that their is more drama and tons of fake people!! boy were they right and boy do i wish i knew this before i came here!

oh well not much longer and honestly i would never see these women or soldiers again because most of the soldiers suck in general and with their wives actions wont be in the military or even get promoted!! that sucks cause you should be proud of achievements you make or your spouse achieves!!

well back to making the photo album that on my monkeys 18th birthday or when she graduates (maybe when she leaves for college) not sure yet i plan to give her showing her life as i saw it... my goal is to do this for every child i have :)