cancelled

so my councelling appt got cancelled which is ok and sucks... it would have been the only one the hubby could have gone to and probably my last one since next week we may be getting the house packed up (or trying to find a storage unit)! plus with all the stress of not knowing if the army will pay and if we can afford it i am getting sick :( my throat is killing me and i keep getting stress migranes... ugh i just am so ready to know and have things ready... yes i realize it means the hubby leaves but that is his job and i know he is ready to get it started and over with... the monkey is playing with her baby dolls which is so funny! for some reason one of her baby's she likes naked at night (for bed) but during the day she wants the clothes on!! since she doesnt know how to take them off or put them on i have to do it and she screams until i do (so dont like the screaming)!

i just hope my depression gets better or just doesnt make things worse then it already is :( i guess it is a little worse since we dont know what will happen and the waiting is completely not good for my health! sadly the one guy in the company who i dont want to know my personal business is the guy who all paperwork goes thru so the hubby is gonna try to see if he can pass it over him or atleast not let him read it since the doctors had to write a personal letter explaining the reasons i need to leave, yes it talks about my medical issues with my kidneys which i have no problems people knowing that for the most part considering they found that the protein could be a bigger issue then they orginal made it, maybe lead to kidney failure (awesome i know)... but it also talks about my anxiety and depression and ptsd and the fact i wont take meds (they didnt work in the past and i wasnt me, which is a major concern to me plus if we wanted another baby i cant be on them)...

so who knows what will happen fingers crossed the army pays for our stuff and my car and i can go home just be able to be me and work and have my sanity back! am i asking to much of the army? i hope not :/

well time to entertain a toddler hope everyone else is enjoying their time with family and friends