will it work?

so tomorrow is our first couples councilling appointment... i am a little aprehensive since i feel like the only reason my hubby is going is mostly cause his job is gonna make him... i am also not to excited about the idea of talking to someone through the military but financial we can not afford off post... i guess the whole military thing is because when we were fighting i freaked out, my husband took out more money over 500 not including atm fees... and instead of messaging me my tuck got towed i messed up he just took it... kinda showed me he didnt care about his fmaily so i freaked and called his cq desk and the stupid soldier on didnt like me yelling (i was crying but trying to hide the fact i was crying), he told me a sgt would be calling me which never happened they called my husband and felt that was good enough and didnt care how i was feeling... so now i feel like if something happens again and is worse his company will be the last i contact since they are only gonna protect him! i know that might sound crazy but i just cant help it so this councilling might be hard for me to open up...

the hubby is now back and we are slowing working out things... i had girls night and the next night he had guys and did it again, took more money out then we agreed on because they were at the bar later then he thought... so i was wicked pissed but sorta got over it... just having a hard time trusting him with money but he is proving he loves his daughter trying to spend as much time as possible playing with her so thats getting better... i honestly dont know about the whole trying to work on our marriage with the military being involved...

i guess i will give it a chance and hopefully i will be able to open up and i hope he can open up too espically about his angry lately... yes i know i have anger but i have always had it unlike my husband whos anger has seem to get worse since this last deployment, kinda scary sometimes... i only told one friend and he checks to make sure everyhting is ok when he has a chance but i dont want him to worry... i grew up being hit and have dated abusive guys so i guess its not any different to me i just dont want my daughter to be around it or be hit...

i know i sound crazy but he hasnt hit me just grabbed my wrist really hard and pushed my arms away not leaving a bruise but pretty painful and kinda scary... who knows

well i will let everyone know how it goes tomorrow... goodnight