i really do love him i couldnt see my life without him but honestly i cant take this anymore... everytime i go outside they attack me for even looking at them seriously then sit in ur house or in ur lanea and not where my car is parked...
the title is not just how i feel about my man but a book i am reading... the author is very similiar to me except i am married to an enlisted and herself an officer... she talks about wanting to die and cutting and just feeling so alone with no one to understand... basically how i have been feeling the past year... sadly i have tried to just push it away but it comes up... so i went to councelling it helps but then all i want to do it cut... hubs and downstairs playing with our monkey, he knows something is wrong but i just say everything is fine... how can u tell someone u love if u died tomorrow u would be happier? its honestly not these women cause i know once they leave here they will have a rude awaking and some may not even be wives anymore!
i am trying so hard not to cut but its not working... monday i plan to call the housing lady again not sure if she will be in the office but maybe she will clear her machine and i can leave her a message... i know february is almost over and soon march will be over and then hubby will deploy so i want to spend every min i can with him making him happy ignoring my problems but i am just breaking little by little everyday... wish i stuck with the gut feeling stayed in the other house and just gave up on being friends with these girls forever ago... honestly only one had my cell number so really those other girls (women dont act like children) were only acquiantances that made me question the whole what the fuck was that soldier thinking?! honestly i would rather be in a locked room with my father in law then be near these crackheads!!
well gotta clean my face up and put on a smile and act like everythign is grand when its beyond not even close to being good.............
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