well its been some time since i have been on here and things are just little different...
1. we went back to Hawaii to welcome home the hubby, ended up staying till end of May and having to pay for myself and daughter to fly home (long story).
2. we bought a house in NC (seriously!)
3. we are finally unpacked and organized (or atleast best could be).
So anyways it was a crazy trip of flights, driving, and staying at my parents! thankfully my little monkey survived it all with smiles and lets me know every minute she loves me! (which i need more then i realize lately).
so we are in the house and trying to plan our monkey's third birthday, which isn't going as planned and kinda breaking my heart. we know barely anyone and have to have it 2 weeks early because hubby leaves for school on her birthday! i want to cry every minute :( i know she is only three and probably wont remember it but i want to make them all special she is my only child and it seems like she will only be my only one (which if she is will be fine because i love her more then anything)!
sometimes this lifestyle makes me really depressed! i wonder if moving all the time, not getting to do holidays on their actual days including birthdays is fair to my monkey! i honestly feel like the worst mom ever! i really wanted to give her a great birthday, atleast one! but why would anything work out for me ever :( who knows who will come if anyone and that seriously hurts more then anything! i know people have to work but we are planning it for the weekend of the 4th so most people will mostly likely be off... it just sucks we moved to a new area and know no one :(
i am trying so hard not to cry or cut but it doesnt seem to help not one bit... and i want to be sick!
my goal is for her actually birthday to put a bunch of balloons in her room and then when she wakes up have them all there... then take her to get her nails done since we did it last year and she loved it! i just wish her daddy could actually be here for her birthday, he missed her birth, 2nd birthday and now her 3rd! seriously this lifestyle is sucky and really can break a person, and i wonder if i will ever have any true friends :(
sucks even more her own godmother never can make a few minutes with her nor her godfather, yup we picked winners in that department...
oh well that is my life... i will hopefully start to keep up better and i may even start a new blog since a new adventure in this lifestyle will begin but we will see!
good night... hopefully tomorrow is a better day with better news :/
